Consulting the online Oxford English dictionary, my blood boils as I read ‘feminine’ defined as ‘having qualities or an appearance traditionally associated with women, especially delicacy and prettiness’. I would bet that, a quick survey in the streets would also reveal terms such as ‘nurturing’, ‘caring’, ‘beautiful’, ‘selfless’ associated with feminine rather than such attributes such as ‘strong’, ‘fierce’ and ‘determined’.

Worse still is that such subliminal conditioning lives deep within us and rears its ugly head when we seek social approval by trying to comply to such outmoded gender characteristics. Even the most hardcore feminist will probably catch herself on a bad day hearing the inner traitor’s voice whispering that all would be well if she’d only loose a few pounds and make herself pretty. 

This is why I believe that, if we truly want to change the way future generations define feminine, we need to model different behaviour, show that being strong and fierce, having muscles and the ability to stand up for oneself are also female qualities. 

What better way to become strong and fierce than to attend kickboxing classes? To me, kickboxing has never been about becoming a professional fighter, standing in the ring and winning titles. I find it challenge enough to schedule in the time going to class, survive the cardio part and stay sharp during the technical bit. And, seeing a tall guy built like a tank wince after being kicked or punched by you, can be oddly satisfying. You realise that you and your actions have impact, and that you are stronger than you think. 

During a good kickboxing training you learn how to outthink your opponent, co-ordinate punches and kicks for maximum effect and learn to problem-solve (how do I deal with this giant before me?). Those skills are very valuable in everyday life and in particular when you want to succeed in the greatest fight with the deadliest opponent you will ever face: the inner traitor promising bliss in exchange for struct adherence to unhelpful gender stereotypes. 

Once you become aware of those ideologies within yourself that do not serve the person you want to be, fight back. Punch down guilt and kick shame in the gut. Confront fear and superman-punch it in its ugly face. Become the woman you’d like to be, and stop being defined by the inner traitor’s values on femininity. As women we can be strong and seen as such without being called ‘mannish’ and unfeminine. Let’s kickbox our way to be the woman we want to be and model that behaviour for future generations. 

I am woman, hear me kick and punch.