What's Inside: How Inner Emotions Affect the External
In our world, saturated with the pursuit of self-improvement and social acceptability, we often find solace in external changes. However, behind this pursuit may lie deep internal struggles that we try to mask or avoid. Relationships with ourselves, as with others, can be complex, and it is precisely this complexity that can lead to frequent and radical changes in our external appearance.
Often, external changes may be an attempt to escape our fears and insecurities. We may change our hairstyle, clothing style, or even our lifestyle in the hope that it will help us escape our inner battles. For example, the fear of being unaccepted or dissatisfaction with our bodies can lead to drastic changes in appearance.
Our brain often reacts to new stimuli and changes in the environment by releasing neurotransmitters such as dopamine, which is associated with feelings of satisfaction and joy. When we make changes to our appearance, it can capture our brain’s attention and trigger a temporary sense of satisfaction and joy.
Limitation of the Effect
However, like with any other stimulus, the effect of external changes is often limited in time. After some time, the novelty wears off, and we find ourselves once again facing our internal struggles and dissatisfaction.
Statistics
Surveys and studies conducted by psychologists and sociologists show that up to 80% of people experience periodic dissatisfaction with their appearance, abilities, social status, or other aspects of their personality. They may experience depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, or other psychological problems that can lead to constant desires for change. This underscores the importance of working on our internal state and accepting ourselves as we are.
What Problems Are Hidden?
Constant external changes can mask various internal problems and conflicts:
Lack of self-esteem and confidence: Individuals experiencing a lack of self-confidence may try to compensate by altering their appearance. They may believe that changing their outward appearance will make them more attractive or successful, helping them feel more valuable.
Emotional issues: Internal conflicts, unresolved emotional problems, or traumas can lead to a desire to constantly change one’s appearance. This could be an attempt to escape painful memories or emotions, as well as a way to forget about past traumatic events.
Fears and insecurities: People may change their outward appearance due to fear of being rejected by others or because of their own lack of confidence. This may manifest in a desire to conform to commonly accepted standards of beauty or style, even if it contradicts their own preferences.
Relationship problems: Some individuals may change their outward appearance in an attempt to attract attention or support from others. This may be particularly common in cases where a person experiences relationship issues or feelings of loneliness.
Self-Acceptance
Understanding the internal reasons behind constant changes in appearance is the first step towards self-acceptance. True confidence and self-acceptance stem from understanding and embracing ourselves with all our flaws and virtues. This allows us to begin working on our inner world and build healthier and more resilient relationships with ourselves.
Steps to Embrace Your Inner Self
Here are 4 steps to take when you realize you are falling into a state caused by internal conflicts and dissatisfaction:
Find a hobby or favorite activity: Immersing yourself in an engaging hobby or activity can help redirect your focus from internal concerns to positive and productive activities. This can support emotional well-being and help with mindfulness, which in turn reduces the desire to constantly change your external appearance.
Set new goals: Setting new goals and striving to achieve them can be a powerful motivator and a source of internal satisfaction. When we are focused on achieving new goals, it can reduce our focus on internal struggles and the desire to constantly change externally.
Do only what you enjoy: Practicing doing only what brings joy and satisfaction can help us be more authentic and mindful in our actions. This allows us to reject external changes that may be incompatible with our true desires and values.
Practice meditation every day: Regular meditation practice helps strengthen our connection with ourselves, achieve inner peace, and improve emotional well-being. This can help us better understand ourselves, manage stress and emotions, which in turn reduces the need for constant external changes.
In the GooseBumps app, you can find meditations that will help you reach a new level of mindfulness and improve your quality of life.
