Girlhood Through Mundane Objects
In October of 2022 after scanning film negatives into the computer I started playing around with a digital scanner. It became really fun to scan all of my favorite textures. As time went on I started experimenting with motion, creating some really fun surrealism photography of my face. I would set the scanner to a low resolution to make the scanner glide across the bed fast increasing the motion and wild outcomes, and drag my face in accordance to the light beam.
For my Introduction to Collage final I decided to push this concept further, combining the distortion of my face with scanned found object. I created 8 multi-media pieces exploring my own femininity, identity, growth, and joy.
Inspiration
I was most heavily influenced by Barbara Krueger's bold yet simple imagery juxtaposed with text, as well as Man Ray, and the Guerrilla Girls.
Process
For months I began collecting things to scan, I gravitated towards things with interesting textures, or things that I used everyday. Additionally, I was very interested in using fruit and vegetable imagery; both because of its yonic interpretations, and because of its symbolism of growth and change.
Over the course of a month I collected over 400 scans, experimenting with scan quality, movement, and chance. Some of my favorites ended up being those where the scan quality was very high, the light bar moved across the scan bed slowly and I had the ability to have my hands all over the finished image, making it appear that many different peoples hands were used.
Image Distortion
The scans came out beautiful and bright, I was especially in love with those of the pomegranate. However, in color they were too distracting, and once all elements were layered together, it lacked cohesion.
I created some overlay textures from ink and a chalkboard. Utilizing the pixilate filter on Photoshop, and the created textures with blending modes, I came up with some really rough feeling images. These played well to the themes of growth and identity, emphasizing the grittiness of understanding who you are.
Growth
It's a really powerful thing to be able to grow and change, especially when you're able to look back and see that change occur. For this piece I wanted to emulate a scrapbook- like feel that visually communicated grit and blooming from where you once bled.
Songs of Innocence
My mom is a hairdresser, and some of my earliest memories of feeling love from her was when I would sit in her bathroom as she braided my hair. The feeling of dragging your fingers across someones head is such an intimate, simple, childlike act of love.
My Mother and I
My mother and I look exactly alike, we have the same outline. We have hips and curves, and as I grew up watching my mom starve her body that looked exactly as mine did, I followed suit. I have since recovered from my eating disorder with a vow to break this generational cycle. It is glorious to eat and look like a woman.
Boxed In
There are so many identities I feel pressured to take on as a woman. I feel pressured to become a young, married, mother by my religion. And I feel another pressure to work as hard as I can while I am young, to make as much money as I can. I feel the need to be as beautiful as possible for someone to find me attractive. I feel so many things, and it's a restrictive mold.
How I Love Being a Woman
There is so much joy in being a woman. I feel the most beautiful and sacred connection to Mother Mary who so bravely carried Jesus, her body able to sustain the most important life. And, Heavenly Mother, whose divine being carries me through my days. It is holy to be a woman, to feel connected to yourself and other women.
Female Rage
We carry pepper spray, tasers, and rape whistles. We teach our daughters to walk on opposite sides of the street as men, and to never get gas at night. We don't talk about how scary it is to be a woman. Anger is a powerful emotion, it gets things done and pushes us forward. My anger carries hope.
Feminine Connection
Some of the most important people in my life are older women artists. They've come into their own and have so much love and wisdom to give. These relationships are so special.
I'm a Giver (Male Gaze)
I dont know when the first time I felt the male gaze was, but I know I was young. I know that I give, give, give, always without my permission.
