April 2021, watercolor, A2 sheet.

Collecting and gathering pine cones that fall on the ground is common amongst kids living in Russia. This action is synonymous to picking up memories and collecting them in a basket. As someone born to parents from different countries –Russia and Pakistan– I have experienced the loss of leaving a place considered home to settle down somewhere completely different. Throughout the portfolio I used pinecones as a symbol for my memories prior to leaving Russia. I explored my connection to Russia as a kid and its effects on the current me as I tried to accept that I could no longer live there.

I made this piece to show the tug of war in my heart between living in Pakistan but still missing my childhood in Russia by draping the Russian flag around me and being pulled by a Pakistani flag. I want to convey a sense of living in a fairytale yet being forced to wake up. This was made with reference to Ivan Bilibin's style.

July 2021, acrylics, A2 sheet.

I made this piece to clearly show the contrast between a childhood me trapped inside memories and the current me eating those memories. I chose Pablo Picasso's "the Weeping Woman" as a reference because it clearly captures the grief I want to convey.

Most of Russia's fairytales include a character called "Baba Yaga", an old woman living in a cottage on chicken feet in the middle of a forest. She helps people with her supernatural powers when it benefits her and harms them when it benefits her. I wanted to connect her greed to my current self.

August 2021, ink, pencil and micron pens, A2 sheet.

I further explored the idea of being trapped in the past and greed by showing my house in the forest and how I collect pine cones even if my basket overflows. I use the layout and progression of a graphic novel page because I believe this best showed the constant cycle in my mind.